Ruminations
by editor frog
Summary: A venue for some more serious drabble. Includes 1st person POV snippets from all characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers for the finale if you read it right. (Usual disclaimers.)

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"_You should've taken the deal."_

I knew it was bound to happen. He's like me in that respect. Problem is, considering what I'd just seen in Sarnia at the pig farm, I did almost sincerely think he might be doing me a favor.

Then I snapped out of it and remembered the Glock on my belt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Slight spoilers for "Amplification." Hope you enjoy!

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_"My throat's a little dry, and…"_

And…nothing. The words won't come out right. I remember seeing the girl, Abby, trying so desperately to tell us what had happened to her, and receiving gibberish as a result. The same gibberish that now plagued me with full force. My brain is revolting against me, and there's nothing I can do for it—not myself, not now.

The desire to speak, to be understood, is overwhelming. Slowly, I pick up my hands, hoping that they will have the power to relay what my voice cannot.


	3. Chapter 3

**I loved this scene in "Amplification," so there's possibly going to be multiple viewpoints on this bit. Hope you enjoy!

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_"Go help Hotch."_

The second he says it I want to backhand him._ "Hotch has enough people helpin' him."_

_"He needs you more than I do."_

It's just like him. Never mind he's now afflicted with a genetically-altered life-threatening toxin running rampant through him; he's got to be the martyr and focus on the larger picture rather than on himself. Doesn't he understand that _he's_ important too? To all of us? To me? How is it so hard for him to accept that every one of us cares deeply about him--that _I _care about him as though we shared the same bloodline?

_"I'm gonna get naked. So they can, uh, scrub me down. Is that something you...really wanna see?"_

And then it finally hits me. He knows he's important. Plus I forgot--he's incredibly shy. _"I'll check with you later."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's Reid's thoughts on the shower scene. Hope you enjoy!

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_"He needs you more than I do."_

_"Reid, I am gonna see you off to the hospital..."_

There's just no getting rid of him. Doesn't he understand that there's a larger aspect to this thing? That he really needs to focus on, I don't know, finding the apprentice that made this thing so that no one else has to suffer or die? But no, he's insistent that he focus his attention on _me--_helping _me,_ saving _me,_ making sure _I'm_ okay. In the grand scheme of things, I'm really not all that important.

But then I think about Garcia's 'greeting' when I called. And just how insistent Morgan's being--even to the point of forsaking everything just to watch out for me. It reminds me that _I_ am important too, and that these people--my strange and wonderful little 'family'--really do care about what happens to me.

Still, I'm pretty sure I can handle being stripped and scrubbed without being 'watched'...


	5. Chapter 5

**So now I'm on a little bit of a time warp--planning to pick out some high points of the season and continue with this series. Hope you enjoy this one--it's from "Memoriam."**

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_If you don't run it, then I will._

I've never seen him this driven. It's almost to the point of obsession. Does he realize what he's asking us to do?

Then I remember Rossi's statement in the law office: _seventeen years is a long time between visits._ I remember seeing Reid at his most irate then--only person I know who gets more sarcastic and mouthy the madder they get. I remember looking at Reid's father and wondering to myself how the man could justify throwing his own child away.

It's then I realize what I'm seeing. The look on Reid's face, the determination; it's the same kind I feel rising inside myself when I remember that cold winter night back home so many years ago. Every time I think about the people who took those shots, I feel it. It's different for Reid, but the determination and anger is still there.

Hours later, it's almost a relief to take the call from the lab. The instant the expectation of self-confirmation washes away from those sad eyes is a sight I won't soon forget.


End file.
